There are women out there complaining about their passive husbands. I wonder if they've stopped to consider that they've deflated their husband and stripped him of his authority by quietly taking over the marriage. It is likely that every time he wanted to make a decision, she had a better idea. Therefore, after a while, the husband tires of this, and "gives up." The Apostle Peter actually empowers women by saying women can win their husbands without a word through their "chaste and respectful behavior" (1 Peter 3:1-2).
The husband has more authority because he has more responsibility before God--the responsibility to die for you, if necessary.
It's funny (not really) how women feel the most effective way to send a message to their husbands about how unloved they are feeling, is to disrespect them by belittling his abilities, undermining his decisions, being resistent of his counsel, unfriendly, and being disinterested in physical intimacy. Eggerichs' quotes one wife in this chapter saying "I thought if I did all of this, he'd get the message that I was hurting, frustrated, and angry and that he'd move toward me with understanding and love." This is probably as effective as your husband withholding his love to you in an attempt to win your respect. Unlikely.
Appreciating and respecting my husband's desire to lead our family and make good decisions takes faith in God! Simply put, if I fail to do this, ultimately, I do not trust God.
Some practical tips Eggerichs' gives at the end of this chapter are:
- you support his self-image as a leader
- you praise his good decisions
- you are gracious if he makes a bad decision
- you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids
- you do not play "head games" with him to make him back down and be a "loving peacemaker"
No comments:
Post a Comment