March 16, 2010

Fit for His Service

Recently it seems that a common theme has been running amongst some of the blogs that I regularly visit. And it's funny, because this weekend I had a conversation with a friend and expressed some of my feelings, similar to what these bloggers are expressing! I can only guess that the Lord is working on all of us.

Failure
Inadequate
Nothing
Messed up again
Not good enough
Lack of experience
Fearful
Overwhelmed

These words have been on my mind lately. Now, I am not slipping into an emotional depression, but I have been feeling these things in my realm of mothering, being a wife, and more recently, with pursuing overseas missions. While it's easy to begin wallowing, and believe me, I have wallowed, I was so blessed to have a brief conversation with a friend over the weekend. She probably doesn't know this, but I was so encouraged! After asking me how I was feeling about the future and beginning to find support for MAF, I told her that I was completely overwhelmed by it! I have no experience in missions; I feel completely un-qualified to stand up anywhere and ask for financial support. Very graciously, she reminded me of something key! In the Bible, who did God often use for His service? More often than not, it was those without experience, untrained, unschooled even. God wants a willing heart, an obedient heart. God wants somebody who is teachable and willing to serve.

I have come to realize that feeling inadequate and overwhelmed are blessings in disguise. If I feel any more than that, I easily become self-reliant. The moment I start saying, "Hey, I'm doing pretty good at this," everything falls apart. When the Holy Spirit convicts us and shows us who we really are, it is then that we cling to Christ and everything He is for us.

Once again, that verse in Second Corinthians comes to mind, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (12:9NIV)


It is when I am completely reliant upon His mercy, grace, and strength, that I am really fit for His service.




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